- Dating Website For Socially Awkward
- Dating Sites For Socially Awkward
- How To Date When You're Socially Awkward
- Dating For Socially Awkward
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'This sounds like a scam… or prostitution' is what pretty much everyone told me when I first decided to give travel dating a go. And truth be told, I thought the same thing. But I'd made it a personal goal to be more adventurous in my dating life this year… and when a PR firm offers to send you on an all-expenses paid getaway with a cute guy (separate hotel rooms included), you say yes.
Which is how I ended up embarking on not one, but two destination dates last month: the first with a complete stranger named Josh* (who — spoiler alert! — did not murder me), and the second with a guy named Peter*, whom I'd met in Paris and serendipitously found on travel dating site MissTravel a few weeks later (he didn't murder me, either!).
Christian singles dating in ozark missouri. For those who may not know, travel dating is kind of like Tinder, but instead of swiping right and left, you scroll through profiles — which also include photos and quick bios — and search by trip. In the case of MissTravel, users can create and list trips with a few key details: destination, specific dates, and whether you've got an 'extra ticket' (i.e. you're willing to cover your travel buddy's expenses), have your 'own ticket' (i.e. you're taking this trip and would like for a date to tag along and cover their own expenses), or, most ambitiously, would like someone to 'take you along' (i.e. you'd like to head out on this vacation and have someone else pay for the trip).
From there, you can match with and message other users based on how interested you are in jetting off with that person. Conversations are a bit more loaded than those you'd have on other dating sites or apps, with fewer games of 'Would You Rather' and more 'So, what's your travel style?' But for the most part, it's not crazy different.
Naturally, I now consider myself a low-key expert in travel dating. So here's everything you need to know about foregoing first-date drinks to fly across the ocean with someone you barely know: highs, lows, and jet-lag-induced drooling included.
1. You've Got Options
For starters, you've got to decide which destination dating site or app to try. I've only ever used MissTravel, which basically invented travel dating, but there are tons of other sites and apps in this space now, including TravelHostDate, TourBar, and YourTravelMates.
Some are designed to help you connect with locals while exploring a new city; others are good for finding fellow vagabonds to sync up with on your next adventure. Your call.
2. Yes, It's Safe
Yes, heading off on a vacation with someone is a way bigger commitment than dinner and drinks. And no, unfortunately many of these apps do not verify users. But think of it in these terms: How often do you get to watch your date stroll through a metal detector or get a pat-down from the TSA? If you're meeting a person at a far-away destination, be sure to touch base with the hotel staff in advance to ensure they've got your information (and I'd strongly recommend getting separate rooms). Many of these travel dating sites and apps also suggest Skyping, FaceTiming, or even grabbing coffee with your potential travel date (location permitting) to ensure you're completely comfortable with each other before clicking 'book.'
Other than that, I'd say follow standard Tinder protocol and you'll be fine. Just trust your gut, stick to hanging out in public areas, and ask a friend to track your location from their phone (maybe spring for a temporary Wi-Fi pass or roaming cell phone plan as well).
3. And Yes, You Really CanFind A Handsome Stranger
A lot of travel dating sites were initially created for sugar daddy types to find young, hot business trip companions, which has given the whole concept a bit of a bad rap. But fret not — more and more millennials are joining these sites and apps; according to MissTravel, more than 400,000 18- to 35-year-olds have joined its site in the last two years alone.
Sure, you might have to scroll through a few pages of the aforementioned businessmen, but you'll also find plenty of charming, adventurous gems; I can personally vouch for that. Josh (travel date one) was 28, with two master's degrees and Zayn Malik vibes; Peter (travel date two) was a hot 23-year-old I'd already met and clicked with at a bar in Paris (think Troy Bolton turned New York finance bro).
4. Don't Worry About Being Awkward
Dating Website For Socially Awkward
The (very) socially awkward side of me was panicking before my trips. Like, breaking-out-in-a-stress-rash level panicking. But both were surprisingly easy, and honestly, way less awkward than most Tinder dates I've been on. Because you've got so much time together, conversation lulling here and there is not only totally fine, it's expected. And knowing you have 48 hours to fill gives you a steady stream of topics to cover as you plan your next move — i.e., would you rather have In ‘n Out for dinner, or head to The Mission for tacos? Should we spend the next few hours strolling through markets, or checking out a few museums? Socializing becomes way easier when you're actually doing things, not just staring at each other's faces over a charcuterie plate.
That said, Josh and Peter might tell you a different story here. I mean, I sensed virtually no awkwardness, but I'm also happy to chat about my appreciation for Voldemort in surprisingly intricate detail, so…
5. But Worry A Little About Jet Lag
I've been flying back and forth across the Atlantic pretty regularly for the past two decades (mostly for school), but jet lag still gets me every. Damn. Time.
Both of my dates involved adjusting my internal clock (the first was Boston to San Francisco; the second Boston to London), and I did a terrible job. As in, I fell asleep and drooled on Peter a few times and aggressively insisted on taking naps. Thankfully, both dates saw the merits of this (especially after the drooling). Keep that in mind when choosing a destination. If you've only got a couple of days to spare, maybe don't travel across too many time zones (and if you do, well, remember that nap time is the best time).
6. You Can Try Out Different Travel Styles
Turning a trip into a first date (or visa versa) also gives you the chance to experience different travel styles. I typically travel solo, end up getting lost down random side streets, and spend an inordinate amount of time filling notebooks with my thoughts on a city. Josh, on the other hand, was all about seeing the top attractions: ensuring we didn't miss a photo opp in front of the Golden Gate Bridge or hanging from the side of a trolley. And Peter — well, Peter and I were pretty much drunk for two days straight and somehow ended up on a boat. Or, as I affectionately dubbed it, 'A magical island pub floating on the River Thames… LET'S GO TO THERE!'
Personally, I didn't ask either date about their own travel styles before meeting up, as I'm generally pretty happy to go with the flow (especially the flow of the pub boat). But if you're a more structured traveler, definitely chat through the details with your date to make sure they're on the same page.
7. It's A Great Escape From Modern Dating
Modern dating is so focused on strategy and scheming, balancing 'hard to get' with 'I'm definitely interested in you.' But the cool thing about travel dating is that it strips all of that away. In most cases (mine included), your dates exist in a vacuum: You live in different cities and have zero mutual connections, so why let the fear of coming on too strong, too weird, too excited about late-night Big Macs keep you from having a great time and enjoying each other's company? Hold hands and mess with his hair! Knock back tequila shots and check out a burlesque club! Get lost in Shoreditch, London, at two in the morning! Who knows, you might hit things off and find a new lover.
Or maybe, like me, you'll end up with some new friends, a phone full of photos, and little bit less of your liver.
*Names have been changed.
When it comes to socially awkward people like me, daily life is a real struggle! But it can get even worse when we try our hand at the dating game! See, we are not exactly clumsy in love. There is just something about that first touch, first kiss, or first coffee date (yes, it's hard to get past that!) that scares us. We know what is going to happen: we will trip on our shoelaces, fall miserably on our chin, and enjoy the entire evening getting ‘stitched' and in no way ‘hitched'!
Despite being socially awkward, we live on bravely, accepting who we are, and always on the lookout for similar souls. However, if you want to date us, you must learn to understand our unique ways. If you can read through the entire list of the dating struggles of awkward people, you will surely love us! Please, love us!
Suggested read: 15 things you need to know if you're dating a person with social anxiety
1. 'Hi' means 'I love you' right?
Image source: Pinterest
'What does that actually mean?' We find ourselves saying this phrase every 15 minutes like a parrot while having a virtual conversation with somebody we have a crush on! We like to keep it in the virtual realm because ‘real' human conversations are way too unbearable for us! See, texting the person we are crushing on does not come naturally to us, okay? We will bring up odd conversation topics when under pressure! We will make every possible attempt to keep the conversation going!
Crush: So see you tomorrow. Good night!
Me: Ummm, I wanted to ask you, what your favorite anatomy chapter was in 6th grade?!
Crush: That's something exciting! So we should discuss it tomorrow. Right?
Me: Grool! (Yes, we make up words too!)
2. ‘Signs' don't mean a thing!
You have to keep ‘showing' us that you love us or are at least interested in us. Do not expect us to read the signs! What seems like clear signs to you make no sense to us. Even if you send us a package full of goodies or a bouquet of our favorite flowers, we will still be mulling over whether you ‘like' us or not. We will remind ourselves of 21 other things that you did or said last year that point towards you not being interested in us! They say that the first step to dealing with a problem is to realize and admit that you have one. However, in the case of socially awkward people and their dating struggles, this does not apply!
3. 19th nervous breakdown
The more we are into you, the more nervous and panicky we become! Calming down is not our strong suit. We cannot stop praying every night and chanting whatever little magic words we know to make sure that this turns out to be something special. We will nod thrice to whatever you say and keep that Cheshire cat smile so that you know we are really enjoying ourselves in your company. We forget that unlike us, you can pick up on signs like a normal human being (because you are one!), so we overdo it. We don't want to run the risk of not being clear!
4. ‘Kiss' me not
The first kiss is a phenomenon too strange for our socially awkward minds to work out! Whether to suck the air in or to breathe it out while smooching is like rocket science to us. We may get so nervous about the task ‘at lips' that we may leave before it actually happens, because what if the other person is not even thinking about it?! Maybe we are the only ones dreaming here! Or maybe this person is waiting for us to take charge and get the job done. Whoa! That's never gonna happen, bro! Hasta la vista!
5. Vamp(ire)
Now, flirting for socially awkward people is a different saga entirely! Once I gave it a shot because I thought a stranger was waving at me, but it turned out that he was actually waving at his girlfriend sitting across the room and I was just in the line of sight! That was the last time I made a move: the summer of 2001! What if someone flirts with us? Well, we need to notice it first, and second, we will not know whether to shake hands with you and introduce ourselves or maybe a fist bump is cooler nowadays. Not knowing what to do next, we will pretend we didn't even see you in the first place!
6. I need to install TrueCaller first!
When a complete unknown but hot-looking ‘entity' asks for our number, we kick start a 2-hour long debate to decide whether it is worth the whole deal or not. 'See, this person could be a terrorist or a drug dealer or an axe murderer or a total psycho, who will call me like hundred times … oh wait! That's me.' By the time we are 20-80 percent sure about giving our numbers, the creature will be in some other part of the world! 😛
7. Touch my hand and…
We will want to touch you so bad that it might come off like we're trying too hard. No, that ‘get your hands off me, you are hurting me' look makes no sense to us. We will paw at you like you are some sandwich and we are a bear – a hungry bear. Hope you got my point. I can elaborate, you know!
Suggested read: How not to be an annoying boyfriend on social media
8. Run away (not) with me!
We might run an extra 15 blocks to avoid running into you if we are crushing on you. If we do end up running into you, don't expect any ‘small talk.' We might even dance into your arms singing, 'Do you love me as much as I do?' That works in the movies, right? And our dancing skills, those are the last nail in the coffin of our non-existent love life!
9. Story of my life!
If we happen to reach the ‘candle light dinner' level (owing to you being completely nuts or a real optimist, which is kinda the same thing!), then you're in for a real surprise! How our pet had a serious bowel problem when we were five and other such gruesome tales are our favorite stories, and the only ones that we know!
10. Hug me ‘tight'
Dating Sites For Socially Awkward
Saying goodbye to our crush, now that's heart breaking. Yes, I am even talking about the casual see-ya-laters! We will hug you so tight to show you how smitten we are with you and might even strangle you to death in the process.
11. Passive compulsives!
For the socially awkward, courting scenes usually involve them continuously asking, 'Are you alright?' or 'Is something wrong?' We are the overly concerned and insecure types while dating. Basically, we are like that dude from Waiting who could never ever pee in public!
12. Fri(end)s
Our thoughts when our date wants us to meet their friends: 'The boat's sinking, Captain! You still have time to run away!' I mean, what are we supposed to talk to them about after the customary 'Hey, what's up?' is exchanged?! And what happens when our date goes to the bathroom?!!! 'I think we need to talk. I think you have become too demanding of me. It's time we break up!'
13. Eyes say it all, literally!
'When eyes do the talking…' Well, socially awkward people may just stare at you and scare the hell out of you. Remember, ‘Silence of the Lambs'? Yeah, we thought that was romantic! However, if you look at us, we will start rubbing our eyes so much that they turn red!
How To Date When You're Socially Awkward
14. 'I don't wanna miss a thing'
We will stalk you on Facebook: read your status updates, re-read them, and look at all your albums so many times that we know the chronological order of your photos! Yes, there is a thin line of difference between a serial stalker and a socially awkward dater! The former might even be a better option in case you are looking for love!
Suggested read: 15 sure shot signs that prove you're not a girly girl
15. 'The (last) night of my life!'
If something does happen some night after we go out, we have no idea how to behave the next morning! We are kind of sure that you are going to leave us now and so we must make the first move and get moving!
Dating For Socially Awkward
Our social awkwardness has always gotten the better of us, making us go crazy around the person we have a crush on. We also have no clue about being seductive. The best we can do is being desperate. But you should also know that we are priceless if you can match up to our weirdness! 😉
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
